Dear protesters, stop cramping my lifestyle

People love to masturbate over the righteousness of their cause, but turn a blind eye to, and make a laundry list of excuses for, the abuses that pave their glorious path.

On Saturday morning, hopping into the Honda Civic and driving out of the little soi of my slum neighbourhood, there was quite a traffic jam. Congested, standing still, on Witthayu Road up ahead there was a parade of trucks and motorbikes with their signature red shirts and flying the red banners. 

One banner on the side of a truck declared that they were looking for a particular "murderer of the people". 

Frustrated and being stalled from spending hard earned money on material things I do not need in the mega centre of capitalism that is the Siam area, like the good democratic consumer that I am, I rolled down the window. 

Just before I shouted, "Dudes, you got the wrong neighbourhood. You want to go to Sukhumvit soi 31. It’s the other way," my better sense prevailed. I’ve been told enough times that I look like red-shirt United Front for Democracy Against Dictatorship (UDD) co-leader Nattawut Saikuar, albeit slim and more dashing, with a finer sense of style. I was afraid that the red-shirt supporters would mistake the identity and take my words too literally. 

Bless their hearts, but some of them are known to take words too literally. 

So half an hour later, and still nowhere near Siam (I live t0 minutes away), I gave up on my plan for soulless consumerism and made a U-turn for home.

Sunday morning, logging on to Facebook, as any dutiful consumer of the cyber age would, I saw many status updates about joining the Pitak Siam rally (which features elements of the yellow shirts, the multi-colour shirts, Santi Asoke and new faces) at the Royal Turf Club. 

I was tempted to suggest that there won’t be much impact, try staging a rally in a public area, like Suvarnabhumi airport instead. But then my better sense again prevailed. 

Bless their hearts, but some of them are also known to take words too literally, especially those applauding a proponent of a military coup. 

Now that I’ve effectively mocked the working class and the middle class alike, we are ready to get to the point. 

We don’t have to agree on each other’s politics. You can yell "murderers". You can cry "terrorists". You can shout on about how much you love or hate so and so. But there is this deal millions of Bangkokians and other Thais have made with the government. Not just this government, but every government in this democracy, battered and bruised, flawed and full of holes though our democracy may be. 

The deal is: We get up in the morning. We go to work, even if often late. We pay taxes. We vote. We abide  by the law, well generally anyway because, seriously, an 80kph speed limit on the motorway, come on. 

In return, we get to simply live our lives, as deep and meaningful as we want, or as shallow and superficial as we wish – usually it’s a bit of both. We would like to be able to do this free of abuse and intimidation. 

That’s the deal we make in a democracy, the right to simply be free and enjoy life. That’s why we choose this system of government over the others – even if spending two minutes talking to the average voter would have us shudder in horror. 

And if we find a cause worth fighting for, we will speak up, we will have a referendum, we will march and we will protest. What we will not do is trample on the rights of other people, because that would make us hypocrites.  

According to news reports, both Pitak Siam and the UDD are now promising to match each other protest for protest, rally for rally and fanatic for fanatic. 

This political conflict has long ceased to be about a cause, not that it was ever about any causes, least of all democracy, just about grabbing power. 

It has become merely huffing and puffing, posturing and intimidating, a violent clash like the one on Tuesday, Sept 25, and the possibility of more. 

The competition is which side has more fans, can click more "like" buttons, can write more derogatory posts, can yell louder, can flex bigger muscles, can intimidate better and can throw a meaner punch. 

This is not gangnam style. This is gangster style. 

Meanwhile, the traditional elite and the merchant elite are watching their respective pawns at work from their mansions, cognac in hand and cigar between the lips, chuckling about how hatred is such a wonderful tool to rouse the people. 

Fine. Good. Hold concerts. Sing songs. Make speeches. Speak on your television. Scream into your radio. Write in your newspapers and blogs. Go to a Pantip forum and have at it. There are so many civilized ways to make your voices heard. 

Better yet, rent the National Stadium and select the 10 angriest and most hateful from each side. 

Have a steel-cage, smackdown, royal rumble match. I’ll do the fight commentating for free. That’s how generous and loving of mankind I am.

Perhaps Bongkot ‘’Tak’’ Khongmalai (that wonder of biological engineering) might agree to be the ring girl as one last charitable work before her wedding to the founder of Total Access Communication (Dtac). 

We’ll have VIP boxes for the traditional elite and the merchant elite, gulping down cognac and rolling cigars between their chubby fingers adorned with gold rings, high-fiving and cheering on – knowing that no matter which side wins in the cage, they will be the true winners who run things anyway. 

At the end of it, I will bellow at the VIP boxes, "Are you not entertained!" like Russell Crowe in the movie Gladiator. 

So do as you please democratically, dear protesters, but don’t infringe on my right to live my life, however meaningful, however superficial. Normally I would just call the police, who are supposed to protect my rights. But they aren’t always reliable. So it’s a good thing I get paid to complain, it’s therapeutic. 

When you yell about putting thousands, or tens of thousands or even a million onto the streets, it’s a campaign of intimidation. When you occupy and take over and fight in the streets, you strip others of their rights. 

The rights of the people who perhaps believe the only way to cure the ills of this country is not through anger and abuse, hatred and intimidation, nor righteous indignation – but through education, which of course doesn't have the same sexy ring to it, not like "murderers" or "terrorists" or "the institution".

Share your thoughts

Discussion 1 : 03/11/2012 at 11:00 AM
Why do the comments sections in this paper have a general tendency to turn into discussions/arguments regarding the US constitution ? these articles are generally about the Thai constitution. Perhaps the reason the number of allowed characters per post is limited to an secretive quantity is to prevent us being bored to death.
Discussion 2 : 03/11/2012 at 10:20 AM
Lek: "masturbate" is the perfect word, Rubbing yourself with someone else's picture in mind :p
Discussion 3 : 03/11/2012 at 09:43 AM
Anti Pheu Thai Yingluck's Government Protester will file a petition to sue her, the Government, the Pheu Thai Party, Red Shirts accomplices aka United Front for Democracy Against Dictatorship, and her cabinet for their crimes.
Discussion 4 : 03/11/2012 at 08:07 AM
Democracy is not perfect but it is better than next best way.
Discussion 5 : 02/11/2012 at 09:25 AM
"Need not look far but our neighbors who are thriving ahead of us and a common denominator surface." Cambodia? Laos? Burma? Malaysia? Vietnam? Singapore? Not one is exactly a shining example of democracy. In fact, they make Thailand look quite democratic in comparison.
Discussion 6 : 01/11/2012 at 10:55 PM
"that wonder of biological engineering" Damn it Voranai, you put in words what all my medical college professors failed to do despite their collective decades of expertise in physiology, anatomy, pathology, biochemistry, and embryology combined. The "Holy Grail" belongs to Thou
Discussion 7 : 01/11/2012 at 09:34 PM
Perhaps a useful test of the sincerity of all protesters of all colours is a simple Yes/No question they can ask themselves: Do you favour revoking all Thai laws that prevent the free speech that is a necessary condition for a healthy democracy and the possibility of knowledge, of a well-founded and balanced opinion on any topic?
Discussion 8 : 01/11/2012 at 08:55 PM
"Section 45. A person shall enjoy the liberty to express his opinion, make speech, write, print, publicise, and make expression by other means." - 2007 Constitution "Section 63. A person shall enjoy the liberty to assemble peacefully and without arms." - 2007 Constitution
Discussion 9 : 01/11/2012 at 07:53 PM
Not quite sure that "masturbate" is the word you were looking for, but great article nonetheless.
Discussion 10 : 01/11/2012 at 06:08 PM
Kuhn Voranai, Great writing. Ever thought of a political career? The likes of you could straighten out this mess of a little country.
Discussion 11 : 01/11/2012 at 06:00 PM
D 7 The US constitution have been ammended 18 times (the 1st 10 at the same time) in over 200 years, the Thai constitution have been rewritten every couple of years depending on the party in control. This was my first point. My second point was that democracies grow over time and that at certain stages in this growth process it can go through rough times like the civil war in the US. This was my second point. During this growth process people must accept that others may differ in their views and may express their rights in different ways and that people should tolerate this. My third point.
Discussion 12 : 01/11/2012 at 05:37 PM
Voranai, I think you need to point out that much that we're all getting sick of protests, there are very real grievances hijacked by kooks. And the problem we have in Thailand is that the influential, be they the govt, the proxy leaders, the army or Amart bend or disable the levers of justice so that it becomes fruitless trying to hold people accountable, and the remaining recourse is to take to the streets, even to the detriment of the country, because their cause is a passionate one.
Discussion 13 : 01/11/2012 at 04:20 PM
onlyasking #6 I beg to differ. It is our Declaration of Independence, written 11 years prior to the Constitution, which is the backbone of our democracy. As Thomas Jefferson put it in the Declaration, governments, “derive their just power from the consent of the governed.” And it was the Declaration that was four score and seven years before Gettysburg. So, while a civil war was being fought to hold the country together, Lincoln rededicated the country not to the rules of the Constitution, but to the Declaration’s vision of equal opportunity and democracy.
Discussion 14 : 01/11/2012 at 03:16 PM
A democracy starts with a constitution that's based on deep founded principles not politics of the day. A constitution is not changed as soon as a new government comes into place, it must be a reflection of what the citizens wants, it must be understood by everyone and it must be lived out in society. After this is inplace a democracy must grow and it takes time, along time. The US went through a civil war enroute to todays democracy. There is no magic quick fix or short cut. Sometimes in this process people will infringe on each others rights, sometimes people will not agree, but to my knowledge there are no alternative.
Discussion 15 : 01/11/2012 at 01:31 PM
Let's have truth in our democracy and rebuild the country.... It doesn't need to be based on hatred. It should be based on unifying Thailand.
Discussion 16 : 01/11/2012 at 01:06 PM
Need not look far but our neighbors who are thriving ahead of us and a common denominator surface. None has repeated coups. Coups set us back in just about everything, creat the divisiveness and allow our democracy to be compromise by manipulators while the common people bear the full brunt of the suffering. Malaysia, Indonesia & Phillipines have corruption just like us but the difference is that they either don't have coups or have the last one long time ago. Let democracy solve its problems. Don't underestimate the decision making of the voters when democracy is allowed to develope.
Discussion 17 : 01/11/2012 at 12:37 PM
Dear K. Voranai, Thank you for this opinion:) You're talking my thoughts!!!
Discussion 18 : 01/11/2012 at 12:05 PM
I suggest the two sides debate each other .It could be on TV or it could be a public forum area where 2 platforms exist One person from each side can go up and challenge who ever the speaker is on the other side .Rich or poor influenced or not .My other idea involves a roman Colosseum theme but I dont think we could take that much excitement .
Discussion 19 : 01/11/2012 at 11:39 AM
Indeed - time for the silent majority to drown out the political squabbling with pragmatism. The system doesn't work - start replacing it with local alternatives that do. Cut off the special interests on both sides, drown out their threats and calls to rally with pragmatic solutions. If enough people are convinced to determine their destiny with their own two hands rather than in the voting booth or in the streets, perhaps Thailand would not be an attractive place for manipulators to fight over.

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